Why I chose not to be a mom

Having had to watch the distasteful things like the Duggars and a few other people who are Pro-Family on TV, I made a decision based on experience.

Growing up,  I was pretty much living in the shadow of my little sister who was skinny, pretty, and otherwise just in the eyes of others, the ideal. She was actually a model at one time and sometimes still models on the side just for fun. She is a mom and does more than expected even though she has to live with my mother and father.

For myself on the other hand, being in her shadow, I had to live with the stigma of having what was called Learning Disabilities or LD, having to be told I wouldn't make it. Having teachers who would just say, "Why can't you be like your sister who is a success?" I sat through life wondering what was wrong with me, but I'm basically seeing it now more than ever.

I don't want to be the parent of a child with LD, I don't want a kid with learning problems that I had, I don't want to go "I'm sorry, guys, I have to take her or him to the doctor to up medication so they can learn," have my money taken away so I have to struggle with the fact that I have to pay for special education. It costs A LOT!

People say Special Ed is free, actually it isn't, you have to pay for a psychologist to tell you what is wrong with your kid, your kid has to go through sessions of testing, that a school district will not pay for. If your kid is having more troubles in one topic, you have to pay the school more money to set up tutoring session with teachers who plainly don't care or just teach to a test.

I went through Special Education all my life and it sucks! Being told by other kids that I'm less than them was not worth the effort! I decided to put all my stock in going to the library and being into books.

I chose to be into cosplay and other hobbies because guess what...I wasn't called less than a person, I was given a chance to have fun. I got to play at being who I wanted to be for a change, and not what someone else wants. I wasn't told, "You can't...." I was told, "You can..."

When it comes down to it, I don't want to be a mom and lose my chances of going to conventions and well...being me! Having to go through life taking care of a kid with my stigma....I would rather die! I would be humiliated if my kid has LD or any disabilities attached to Special Ed.

I hate Special Education kids, I hated going to school because I didn't want to associate with these kids. I wanted a REAL education, I wanted to be part of the NORMAL kids, not going to a room each day for tutoring with kids with had mental disabilities or would never go to college. I wanted to go to college and be educated, I wanted to be like EVERYONE else!

I got into Anime, Cosplay, and Sci-Fi to escape this! To leave whole "You're not as good as..." crowd and I wanted to be accepted. And personally, I would rather die than be a mom!

I would like to make an updated amendment to this: I do not hate kids with special needs, I hate the situation that they are put in day after day. These kids deserve a better and also some of the ADA doesn't always work the way it should for some. There have been improvements that have been in place, I am not going to say much other than please do research on the schools that will help students with special needs, I am going to mention that Havern Academy near my house has made strives to prove kids who are Special Needs have the educational future they deserve!